Tony Sims - My Harangues

An Idle Harangue, After Reading
Lytton Strachey, on Mr Gosse,
on Sir Thomas Browne

by Tony Sims (Copyright, 2002)

All but nothing boils my blood quite so much, as this recurring predilection for slash and burn attacks on the poor forsaken "adjective". It would seem to be, too often, that workshopping some penned piece is little more than, the ordained surgical removal of every adjective deemed to be "superfluous". Extracted, one by one, each from its appointed place; taken isolate to the convenor's chair; there to be verbally chastised within an inch of its last letter. A warning, for sure, to all adjectives, that they should remain fast within the dictionary's pages for the most. And if they do but dare venture forth, it must be singly; not in pairs; never, in more than pairs. Such is the declaration of the neo-pedants!

Be that as it may, I am yet to observe any of this self-created caste, indulge their luncheon without condiments. Their repast has always seen the addition of herbs and spices and such, both before and after the food's ordeal by fire. And yet, they insist that others must enjoy thier own writing, unembellished by individual inspiration. Hypocracy is indeed the spice of life.

This is all the more sad, in that there is no such thing, in truth, as an "adjective". Rather there is just an "adjectival function". Some words are only used as adjectives, whereas others may be used as nouns or adjectives, or as adverbs or adjectives, and so on. And William Shakespeare, who is an authority on the English language, if anyone is, freely used words, many of which he had invented, each for its own particular purpose, in any way he so desired. In "Measure For Measure" there is this line, in which Lucio says to the disguised Duke [Act III, Scene II]: "Lord Angelo dukes it well in his absence; he puts transgression to't." But that is a different pedantic rule being broken by the Bard. As for pairs of adjectives, Mark Antony in "Julius Caesar" [Act III, Scene I] promises Italy: "Domestic fury and fierce civil strife". Shortly later [Act III, Scene II] he tells the crowd in regard to Brutus' stabbing of Caesar: "This was the most unkindest cut of all." Anyone who cares to repeat that last line, aloud several times, will, if they are not devoid of wit, quickly be reconciled to William's reasons for so constructing that sentence.

It is not enough for a writer to love words, though that be essential. Words, also, must love the writer. William Shakespeare was the most sincere slave of the English language. Thus, he brooked no rules; rather crafting his sentences as the words themselves demanded he should do. If there is a rule, then that is it.

[written by Tony Sims on the morning of Saturday 15th June 2002, in a fit of suddenly occurring & unexpected, to me at least, passion. Copyright is, as it always should be, with the writings' creator!!]